That's what my therapist said, of course in his normally supporting tone. I find it so difficult to let myself do that. I don't want to get to the point that I want to or need to weep. I want to live wishing I could live forever, not to live wishing I could die. I don't want my belief, that the soul lives forever, to haunt me.
Nearly everyone goes through tough emotional trials. Depressions, anxiety, anger, disorders, all examples. However, everyone has different ways of dealing with them. It takes so much time to smooth things over. Every so often, a bump comes up, and you need to  over again. That can be tricky. With all that life has in store, being knocked off balance can have devastating, or seemingly so, effects. Having people around who can care for you without judging you makes these hard times more bearable. That goes without saying. Its hard though, when the person you want to be with, isn't there. When that person, can never be there again.
In my case: my father. He died in 2003, when I was 13. It hurt me hard, I remember the first night. My chest hurt so bad, I felt like the world had been snatched out from under me. I couldn't stop crying, and I felt like I would throw up. I felt so lost. I cried myself to sleep that night, hoping that in the morning, he would be there, ready to take me to school. However, I woke up that night, and wandered out to the stair case. I saw a whole room of people, half I knew, half I had never seen before. They all had reasons to grieve my fathers loss. I heard that night, countless stories of his life, and endless weeping. I learned, that he had never belonged to me.
Now, I am 17, I have been without him for three years, four months, and two days. I am still trying to get over this. Every-time I think about him, I have to start over,and tell myself again that he is gone. But that's okay, when I am feeling strong. When I am not, It destroys me.
My father and I had so much in common, and as I grow, I notice more and more that I am just like him. Our beliefs, our personalities, and out outlooks on life. I notice how certain things I am going through might have be easier on me if I had his support. I wonder how he faced his mother, who is Christian, with his beliefe in reincarnation, and ghosts, and other such things. I wonder what he would say or do to help me through my depression. I wonder if I would still be playing basketball...
I miss my father, and that will never change. I know no one can ever take his place, but I home I meet someone who can fill the space he left in my heart when he "graduated" from life. Until we meet again, I can only remember the things about him that I can, and try to make him proud.

I was watching a movie, "Volcano" and it made me think of how people only seem to work together when there is extreme danger. That is so sad. Could you imaging a world where people work together everyday? Could you imagine if people could get over themselves enough to realize that there are major issues at hand which are beyond their own lives? Problems such as Global warming, war, hunger, homelessness? We could do something, but where do we start?
I would love to do something, I think it would be a great thing to start small. Everyday, if you see some way you could help someone, do it, show kindness and acceptance, promote positivity. Love is the source of positive change. If you love yourself, love others, love your planet, then you are promoting this change. It can seem impossible sometimes. I feel that way, like my problems are overwhelming, but I will personally try to look beyond from now on. I hope you do to.


How could you help?